Jayson tells Mom to get a job
(Backstory-Last week, Dad spoke to Kindergarten about his job for their community helpers unit. Afterwards, Jayson told me to think about what community helper I wanted to be so I could come talk to his class. I giggled to myself and told him, "Ok." I thought about asking to speak about being a stay-at-home mom, and how they help our community in many ways. I imagined the ridiculous controversy of people reading too much into it, assuming I'm against working mothers. No, thanks!)
This morning as we loaded up for school, he asked, "Have you decided about what community worker job you are going to get?"
"Actually, I already have a job. I used to be a teacher. Then, Daddy and I made the decision that we would share his paycheck, and I would be a homemaker."
"Oh, so would you help kids with their homework?"
"No, (although, I realize now, YES, that's in the job description) it means that I try to manage the house; cleaning, laundry, getting kids to and from school,"
I don't think he let me get that far. He said, "Well, I thought of a good job for you. You know how Moms get to come home at night?
"Yes." (Is he thinking of Brad's sometimes night shift?)
"Well, you can be Mayor!"
Oh! That's all! Just a little side job. I've gotta say, I love his confidence in me! Again, No, thanks!
I hear one of the scores could be 13?
When I was a kid, I distinctly remember avoiding team sports. I was painfully shy, and the idea of teammates yelling that I was making them lose was terrifying. I didn't help things by being tiny and hiding at the end of every line. That meant that if we were in gym, having some relay race, and my team was losing, then there was a good chance that the other team would finish to screams of approval, while my skinny little legs, which earned me the nickname Kermit (by my FRIENDS, mind you), ran the longest lap around the gym ever. I remember faces, boys come to think of it, screaming, "Oh, come on!"
In fact, one of the only times I ever got in trouble was in the third grade. I don't know what came over me. I imagine that upon learning cursive, and believing that I was an instant expert, that this indeed could be put to good use to get out of such relay race trauma. I delivered a note to my PE teacher excusing me from PE that day. It worked! I sat out! I was a nervous wreck the whole time anyway, but I sat out!! On the way out of class, the coach approached me and relayed her expectation that I have it signed by a parent that night. Gulp. No, of course I didn't show it to my mom until time to go to school the next day, silly, "I forgot."
Throughout my school years, I felt so left out and wanted to play on my friends soccer teams...but you could get kicked in the shin! Ouch! No thank you!! I ended up in figure skating. I did my thing, challenged myself, great memories, thank you very much, without fitting hit by a ball or yelled at by teammates.
From my understanding, Brad played football and soccer throughout his school years, but could take it or leave it. By the time I met him, he was on swim team; later, in college, he was a goalie in lacrosse. That was fun, but I think more than anything, he loved being the tough guy to take the shots that no one else wanted to take. Some things never change, by the way. He ended up getting into triathlons, Crossfit, and running.
I guess you'd say team sports just aren't a focus for us. Everyone talks about football, baseball, we have no idea who the champs are...it doesn't bother us, we respect it, we just don't follow it.
Josie came along, and after kindergarten, I enrolled her in a 1 week sports camp. Try each sport for a day, then see what you like! Then, in first grade, she could join a team for a season, right? They rotated between soccer, basketball, and possibly baseball. What I do remember, is that she came home after the first day and reported, "I got hit with the soccer ball! It hurt, and I cried. Soccer is not for me!" The next day..."I got hit in the nose with the basketball, and it hurt! I cried and had to have an ice pack! Basketball is not for me!!" You get the picture...she ended up in children's theater. It was a great place for her. She wasn't exactly ending a legacy, I must admit.
Joy was quickly enrolled in gymnastics out of (our) sheer terror after she brought me cookies she retrieved off of our refrigerator before she was two. Again, I encouraged the team sport thing, and assumed that being a sibling, that she would like different things than Josie, and therefore, might like sports. At three, we signed her up for soccer and she loved it! However, when the players converge towards the ball after the first couple of seconds, she would back up. Did I mention that she only went on the field if she was holding hands with the coach? So there she went, running past us, holding hands with the coach with one hand, waving with the other, and keeping a safe distance from the action. Adorable. She continued with gymnastics and is now expressing herself in hip hop.
Now, here comes Jayson. I've always loved watching little boys play Tball, hearing the crowd yell, "No!, other way, other way!!" But I could never convince him to try it, or soccer. His response was always, "I might fall down." Of course, to all these responses, I encouraged the kids to try, pointed out how much they fall in the backyard, how much their friends like it, but no.
Jayson's reaction didn't surprise me too much, and we didn't push. He's been going to occupational therapy to help with his sensory processing disorder for about a year. He's come so far, but months ago, he was still often found crying after a well meaning grown up, other than family, would pat him on the back, or some other harmless gesture. On the playground last year, he avoided his friends as they ran by, careful not to be bumped by anyone. Using the slide meant that he stood waaay back; when NO one was on the ladder to bump into him, he would climb up and slide down. Of course, he stood so far back, that crowds of kids came along and got on the ladder, not seeing that he was psyching himself up. I often wondered how that was going to translate into recess or PE class in Kindergarten. I imagined that a game of basketball was going to be overwhelming to say the least.
So, I was not too surprised when the Coach saw me at school and very kindly mentioned that Jayson had gotten upset and melted down that day at the end of class. It seems that they were playing scooter basketball, and he explained that all the kids wanted to be Goalie, but only so many could get a turn each day. He thought Jayson must have been upset when time ran out and he didn't get a turn. Of course I understood, and I envisioned Jayson screaming at his sisters all the time, "It's not fair!!" and thought it sounded typical for Jayson. He pointed out to me that Jayson recovered quickly, that it wasn't different than any other kindergartner getting upset, and that was great news to me, a great improvement from a few months ago.
After school, I said, "Jayson, Coach told me that he thought you were upset today in PE."
Without hesitation, Jayson said, "It was no big deal, I was upset because I didn't score! I wanted a point! But I stopped crying."
How about that?!? My boy cared about the game!?! The score!? I relayed it back to coach when I passed him the next morning, and we both agreed, "Hey, that's a GOOD thing!"
That day, he got to play goalie, and he loved that, too. He reported to me first thing after school, "I got to be goalie, and NO one scored on me!!" It occurred to me also, that we hardly get anything out of him about school: he tells us how many points he got for behavior that day, and sometimes he tells us about what they played in PE. Otherwise, we only get random bits and pieces about funny things his teacher did, or who got in trouble.
So, since he was so excited, I mentioned signing up to play basketball or something like that, "wouldn't that be fun?" He looked at me very seriously with big eyes and said, "You don't understand, when you get there, and you are with kids your age, then big boys show up and they play too!!" I explained that he was mistaken, that he would be with kids his age. As he had said before, he told me that he didn't know how to play. I explained again, "They will teach you!"
Finally, he sighed, and he said, "But Mom, you don't understand. I don't know the username or the password."
Well sports friends, looks like we've got some work to do if he starts playing sports. We might need to attend a friend's practice or game here or there. I want to be sure I'm the best athletic supporter I can be! I wouldn't want to say anything stupid.
Sent from my iPhone
In fact, one of the only times I ever got in trouble was in the third grade. I don't know what came over me. I imagine that upon learning cursive, and believing that I was an instant expert, that this indeed could be put to good use to get out of such relay race trauma. I delivered a note to my PE teacher excusing me from PE that day. It worked! I sat out! I was a nervous wreck the whole time anyway, but I sat out!! On the way out of class, the coach approached me and relayed her expectation that I have it signed by a parent that night. Gulp. No, of course I didn't show it to my mom until time to go to school the next day, silly, "I forgot."
Throughout my school years, I felt so left out and wanted to play on my friends soccer teams...but you could get kicked in the shin! Ouch! No thank you!! I ended up in figure skating. I did my thing, challenged myself, great memories, thank you very much, without fitting hit by a ball or yelled at by teammates.
From my understanding, Brad played football and soccer throughout his school years, but could take it or leave it. By the time I met him, he was on swim team; later, in college, he was a goalie in lacrosse. That was fun, but I think more than anything, he loved being the tough guy to take the shots that no one else wanted to take. Some things never change, by the way. He ended up getting into triathlons, Crossfit, and running.
I guess you'd say team sports just aren't a focus for us. Everyone talks about football, baseball, we have no idea who the champs are...it doesn't bother us, we respect it, we just don't follow it.
Josie came along, and after kindergarten, I enrolled her in a 1 week sports camp. Try each sport for a day, then see what you like! Then, in first grade, she could join a team for a season, right? They rotated between soccer, basketball, and possibly baseball. What I do remember, is that she came home after the first day and reported, "I got hit with the soccer ball! It hurt, and I cried. Soccer is not for me!" The next day..."I got hit in the nose with the basketball, and it hurt! I cried and had to have an ice pack! Basketball is not for me!!" You get the picture...she ended up in children's theater. It was a great place for her. She wasn't exactly ending a legacy, I must admit.
Joy was quickly enrolled in gymnastics out of (our) sheer terror after she brought me cookies she retrieved off of our refrigerator before she was two. Again, I encouraged the team sport thing, and assumed that being a sibling, that she would like different things than Josie, and therefore, might like sports. At three, we signed her up for soccer and she loved it! However, when the players converge towards the ball after the first couple of seconds, she would back up. Did I mention that she only went on the field if she was holding hands with the coach? So there she went, running past us, holding hands with the coach with one hand, waving with the other, and keeping a safe distance from the action. Adorable. She continued with gymnastics and is now expressing herself in hip hop.
Now, here comes Jayson. I've always loved watching little boys play Tball, hearing the crowd yell, "No!, other way, other way!!" But I could never convince him to try it, or soccer. His response was always, "I might fall down." Of course, to all these responses, I encouraged the kids to try, pointed out how much they fall in the backyard, how much their friends like it, but no.
Jayson's reaction didn't surprise me too much, and we didn't push. He's been going to occupational therapy to help with his sensory processing disorder for about a year. He's come so far, but months ago, he was still often found crying after a well meaning grown up, other than family, would pat him on the back, or some other harmless gesture. On the playground last year, he avoided his friends as they ran by, careful not to be bumped by anyone. Using the slide meant that he stood waaay back; when NO one was on the ladder to bump into him, he would climb up and slide down. Of course, he stood so far back, that crowds of kids came along and got on the ladder, not seeing that he was psyching himself up. I often wondered how that was going to translate into recess or PE class in Kindergarten. I imagined that a game of basketball was going to be overwhelming to say the least.
So, I was not too surprised when the Coach saw me at school and very kindly mentioned that Jayson had gotten upset and melted down that day at the end of class. It seems that they were playing scooter basketball, and he explained that all the kids wanted to be Goalie, but only so many could get a turn each day. He thought Jayson must have been upset when time ran out and he didn't get a turn. Of course I understood, and I envisioned Jayson screaming at his sisters all the time, "It's not fair!!" and thought it sounded typical for Jayson. He pointed out to me that Jayson recovered quickly, that it wasn't different than any other kindergartner getting upset, and that was great news to me, a great improvement from a few months ago.
After school, I said, "Jayson, Coach told me that he thought you were upset today in PE."
Without hesitation, Jayson said, "It was no big deal, I was upset because I didn't score! I wanted a point! But I stopped crying."
How about that?!? My boy cared about the game!?! The score!? I relayed it back to coach when I passed him the next morning, and we both agreed, "Hey, that's a GOOD thing!"
That day, he got to play goalie, and he loved that, too. He reported to me first thing after school, "I got to be goalie, and NO one scored on me!!" It occurred to me also, that we hardly get anything out of him about school: he tells us how many points he got for behavior that day, and sometimes he tells us about what they played in PE. Otherwise, we only get random bits and pieces about funny things his teacher did, or who got in trouble.
So, since he was so excited, I mentioned signing up to play basketball or something like that, "wouldn't that be fun?" He looked at me very seriously with big eyes and said, "You don't understand, when you get there, and you are with kids your age, then big boys show up and they play too!!" I explained that he was mistaken, that he would be with kids his age. As he had said before, he told me that he didn't know how to play. I explained again, "They will teach you!"
Finally, he sighed, and he said, "But Mom, you don't understand. I don't know the username or the password."
Well sports friends, looks like we've got some work to do if he starts playing sports. We might need to attend a friend's practice or game here or there. I want to be sure I'm the best athletic supporter I can be! I wouldn't want to say anything stupid.
Sent from my iPhone
Racing the Storm
Those of us who have lived in Texas for any amount of time know that the weather can change dramatically from day to day. A couple of weeks ago, we had one of those big, Texas-sized storms roll in. It took over the news, tracking the storms that were descending upon our area, Tornado watches in effect. All predictions pointed to it passing through right at my ‘favorite’ time of day (SO not my favorite time of day)…carpool.
My kids are in 3 different schools. After picking up the second child, the sky started to change. We raced to get child number three as it grew dark and ominous and began to sprinkle. I was really anxious, not freaked out, but anxious to get the kids inside before the worst hit. Any one of my kids was liable to get upset about a possible tornado and burst into tears, which I never knew were contagious until I had children. At every stoplight, I was checking the radar on my phone. A huge storm was coming in, most of it red, with large areas of purple, and within those, areas of black. Uh-Oh. We still had to get to my oldest daughter’s school, and then drive back about eight minutes on a good day (but who’s counting?). She has OCD, ADHD, and is on the spectrum…anxiety is an everyday issue, change is unwelcome. So when she texts me, “Where are you? It is raining.”, it could be matter of fact, or she may be starting a major meltdown.
From my estimations, we might be able to get home just before the ’red’ area pushed through. If a tornado was part of it, we would have a couple of minutes, tops, to get ready, and I was already making preparations in my head. We would need to run in, empty the laundry from our tiny laundry room. I would need to make sure I had my phone. Grab the lantern and flashlight from the garage, hopefully there would be a total of three, one for each child to avoid fighting or crying. Grab a book or something to distract them with…and yet, say none of this until we are closer to home, no need to scare the kids unnecessarily.
Zooming as fast as I was able to get away with down a major street in our town, we raced to get my daughter. This area has the winding sidewalks running alongside the road with nice landscaping and the occasional park bench. I did a double-take at something that seemed very odd considering the weather: I saw a woman walking down the sidewalk. She was not in exercise clothes, as was common on these trails; she was dressed in normal clothes, in a coat, walking on the sidewalk that wound back and forth beside the road in the middle of suburbia, and fairly far from any store or bus stop. It seemed that no matter where she was going, she had a ways to go. (Local friends; this was on Lake Forest about half way between Eldorado and Virginia).
I drove on wondering about her, and hoping she would make it to her destination before the storm hit. I only saw her for a moment, but I thought I recognized her as being a cashier at one of the grocery stores. I remembered her fondly because each time we saw her, she was always going above and beyond to help us out, always so friendly. So, I guessed she was headed to the grocery store on the corner, still a long ways off for her. Yep, poor thing must be having to walk to her shift, rain or shine. Times are hard.
I thought about picking her up. I knew it was not normally a good idea, I knew my husband would not approve. If I were alone, it was one thing, but I also had my children with me- that added quite a wrinkle. My crazy head was thinking, “Well, she appeared to be a lady about my age, possibly even someone I am familiar with…even if it’s not her, how harmful could she be?…“ then every Lifetime movie ran through my head; “…or, it is a man dressed as a woman, just waiting for a victim! No, no, not in this weather, they wouldn’t plan that…” But right now, I had to pick up my daughter. I knew she’d be relieved to get picked up, to stop her “What ifs” that were undoubtedly rolling around in her head and possibly landing on anyone around her.
We picked up my daughter , who seemed oblivious to anything outside of the four sides of her phone screen, so that was a relief. We raced back towards home, back down the same street. By now, it just looked downright creepy outside. I was still trying to estimate if we would make it inside before the bottom fell out of the clouds. Cars were racing around, the typical pedestrians had vanished from the area, and everyone was, I assume, heading for shelter.
Still, I was so curious now, I watched for the lady like a hawk, not knowing WHAT I would do if I saw her. THEN what?
The kids would ask me questions, and I would say, “Not now, I need to pay attention because of the weather.” I kind of hoped not to see her, because I still wasn’t sure of what was the right thing to do. I didn’t want them to know that I was thinking of picking up the lady, they might hold me to it! What if I saw her and decided that it was poor judgement? How could I say, "nah! She's fine! Lets take care of ourselves. Someone else will help her. Ignore all those times that I've told you to stop putting yourselves first."
We rounded the bend and there she was. I had been watching for her to be walking quickly, even panicked and jogging a little down the sidewalk. I can’t tell you how surprised I was at what I saw, it was so surreal.
She was just sitting there on a park bench. What in the world!? I would have expected her to speed up, keep hiking. Who would just sit at a time like this!?! I would be about to cry. Was someone on their way to get her any minute now?
I did a U-turn and pulled up beside her, rolling down the window, about to say, “HEY!! We know you!! You are always so nice to us at the store. Can we please give you a ride?” As I opened my mouth, I saw it was a stranger.
Oh. Now what? I was scrambling, wondering what to say now…maybe I shouldn’t let her in our van?
“Are you OK?” I asked her. Now I could see her better. She was sitting on the bench, sort of slumped back; not unlady-like, but kind of sprawled out across half of the bench, looking more exhausted than making herself at home. There was the book she had been cradling resting on the other half of the bench. “Yes…," she giggled and seemed to think for a minute…”yes.”
Oh my goodness, should I take her? I don’t know her!
“Really? You are ok!?!” I asked, unconvinced by her answer, and unconvinced of how to move forward. “I’m worried about you being out here like this, can we give you a ride somewhere?”
She said, “I was just trying to make it to the library.” GASP! She’s not even close, at least for someone walking!!
I told her to “Get in, we’ll take you!” and she gathered what I now saw was a large leather Bible, hugged it to her chest, and approached the car. I couldn’t help but wonder if this African-American lady was thinking, “LORD, what am I getting into?!? This white lady is picking me up, this van is filthy! I don’t want to be rude, but I may hold my breath the whole way…three kids, a mom that doesn’t appear to have had a shower today, (she’d be correct), and what looks like a layer of dog fur ALL over the carpet? Crumbs, backpacks…” I was so embarrassed. Although I had been wishing for a chance to get the van cleaned after taking Elvis to the groomer, it never occurred to me that my van needed to be ready to greet a stranger, to put them at ease, to drive onto the mission field right in our own neighborhood.
I introduced my brood, and she said something about Joy’s name…something about how she could see that Joy really spread Joy everywhere she went with that sweet face. As usual, I said, “Yep, her name fits her perfectly because God named her.”
I found out that her name was Donna. She said something like, “Well, I guess it’s because I’ve not done my walk lately, but I just couldn’t go any further.” I got the impression that walking was part of her routine, but that recently she had been ill or something. I told her it was perfect, that I was glad we came along so she wouldn’t have to walk. She replied very calmly, “You were my angel today.”
I asked, “I see your bible, do you go to church around here?”
“Well, until I came here a few weeks ago, I was at The Potter’s House.”
“Oh, I’ve heard good things about that church! We go to Christ Fellowship. It’s right around the corner…on Eldorado and Orchid? It looks like a big church, but really, I’m always impressed that somehow it feels smaller. You walk in and know everyone, everyone is so nice and down to earth, and it really feels like family. You should come check it out sometime.”
She answered, “Well, they must be nice, because here you are giving me a ride.”
We pulled up to the library and said our goodbyes. I thanked her for letting us drive her. She got out and headed for the door. Josie smiled at me and said, “Mom, that was really cool. Thanks for doing that.” I instantly beamed and panicked all at once, thinking, “OH NO, I’ve just taught her that it’s wonderful to pick up strangers…we’ll have to talk about this!!” So I began lecture 6, 571,
“Well, Josie, I’m glad we did that, but actually, I don’t know if that was really a good idea, because…”
We watched as Miss Donna stepped under the overhang. In that instant, before she even made it the two steps through the door, the bottom fell out of the sky. It was sprinkling one minute, and then pouring down rain, lightning and thunder the next. We all looked at each other big eyed, and erupted with screams of surprise and excitement. It was unbelievable, one minute later and she would’ve been caught in the storm! Was that a coincidence? It sure didn’t seem like it.
We drove away and I was ecstatic. Funny, my goal was to make it home before this so that the kids didn’t have to unload in the storm. Now, I really didn’t care. Wow. Why was I so happy? I did one thing for one person, and I was so excited. Pathetic! Had it been so long since I reached out to help someone? I should be doing things for others all the time!
And then, I wondered…wait. Maybe I DO serve others all the time. I care for my family. I wouldn’t say I do a great job, but I try; all the laundry, dishes, hugs for hurts, snuggles, teacher emails, late night homework sessions, nursing them through every virus known to suburbia over the last months…It FEELS like it’s nothing, but I guess it’s something. I must remember that even the humdrum moments are service
I really wrestled with sharing this story. I know we are to do good for others, not when everyone is looking, or for credit…but I have been SO compelled to write about it ever since, that I have to wonder if He is nudging, wanting to use the story somehow, if someone needs to hear it.
I have thought about Miss Donna so many times! Why didn’t I get her number, offer her a ride to church on Sunday, offer to sit with her? Did she just have some health issue that caused her to move in with a relative nearby? Something that made it difficult for her to walk or breathe? Did her family know she was walking all the way to the library? Why the library? For free internet to email family? Did she have a ride home? (I asked her that and she said that she did.) I retraced the path out of curiosity; it was 1.6 miles from the point where we picked her up, and who knows how long she had been walking already.
Did she visit our church? Oh, I hope she did, and I hope someone noticed her and made her feel welcome. I hope she didn’t make it all the way there unnoticed. Did she get sick? Oh, I hope my van didn’t make her sick, one of the kids was sick the very next day.
I’ve often wondered why she was just sitting there when a storm was coming!? Was she just so defeated that she couldn’t go on? Or did she sit to pray, to ask Him for help. Did she have such strong faith that she knew that just by asking and trusting, that God would care for her? Maybe she knew to pray when she needs Him (Ask…, seek…, knock…! Matthew 7:7) I often find myself struggling with something difficult and then realize, “I forgot to pray about it!”
Thinking about it now, it reminds me about Jesus sleeping on the boat, while the disciples cried out in fear about the storm that was coming. They woke him and asked how could he sleep at a time like this. He rebuked them for not having faith and ordered the seas to “Be Still”. (Matthew 8) We forget that He’s got this. We can worry, we can race around, but guess what? All of my worries were pointless. My children were fine. I was being a “ye of little faith-er” trying to predict anything, manage everything, but controlling nothing.
Maybe I need to open my eyes more for opportunities to serve others. Usually, I learn more than they do. Most of all, I need to then have the faith that He will use me to do what is best in the storm.
My kids are in 3 different schools. After picking up the second child, the sky started to change. We raced to get child number three as it grew dark and ominous and began to sprinkle. I was really anxious, not freaked out, but anxious to get the kids inside before the worst hit. Any one of my kids was liable to get upset about a possible tornado and burst into tears, which I never knew were contagious until I had children. At every stoplight, I was checking the radar on my phone. A huge storm was coming in, most of it red, with large areas of purple, and within those, areas of black. Uh-Oh. We still had to get to my oldest daughter’s school, and then drive back about eight minutes on a good day (but who’s counting?). She has OCD, ADHD, and is on the spectrum…anxiety is an everyday issue, change is unwelcome. So when she texts me, “Where are you? It is raining.”, it could be matter of fact, or she may be starting a major meltdown.
From my estimations, we might be able to get home just before the ’red’ area pushed through. If a tornado was part of it, we would have a couple of minutes, tops, to get ready, and I was already making preparations in my head. We would need to run in, empty the laundry from our tiny laundry room. I would need to make sure I had my phone. Grab the lantern and flashlight from the garage, hopefully there would be a total of three, one for each child to avoid fighting or crying. Grab a book or something to distract them with…and yet, say none of this until we are closer to home, no need to scare the kids unnecessarily.
Zooming as fast as I was able to get away with down a major street in our town, we raced to get my daughter. This area has the winding sidewalks running alongside the road with nice landscaping and the occasional park bench. I did a double-take at something that seemed very odd considering the weather: I saw a woman walking down the sidewalk. She was not in exercise clothes, as was common on these trails; she was dressed in normal clothes, in a coat, walking on the sidewalk that wound back and forth beside the road in the middle of suburbia, and fairly far from any store or bus stop. It seemed that no matter where she was going, she had a ways to go. (Local friends; this was on Lake Forest about half way between Eldorado and Virginia).
I drove on wondering about her, and hoping she would make it to her destination before the storm hit. I only saw her for a moment, but I thought I recognized her as being a cashier at one of the grocery stores. I remembered her fondly because each time we saw her, she was always going above and beyond to help us out, always so friendly. So, I guessed she was headed to the grocery store on the corner, still a long ways off for her. Yep, poor thing must be having to walk to her shift, rain or shine. Times are hard.
I thought about picking her up. I knew it was not normally a good idea, I knew my husband would not approve. If I were alone, it was one thing, but I also had my children with me- that added quite a wrinkle. My crazy head was thinking, “Well, she appeared to be a lady about my age, possibly even someone I am familiar with…even if it’s not her, how harmful could she be?…“ then every Lifetime movie ran through my head; “…or, it is a man dressed as a woman, just waiting for a victim! No, no, not in this weather, they wouldn’t plan that…” But right now, I had to pick up my daughter. I knew she’d be relieved to get picked up, to stop her “What ifs” that were undoubtedly rolling around in her head and possibly landing on anyone around her.
We picked up my daughter , who seemed oblivious to anything outside of the four sides of her phone screen, so that was a relief. We raced back towards home, back down the same street. By now, it just looked downright creepy outside. I was still trying to estimate if we would make it inside before the bottom fell out of the clouds. Cars were racing around, the typical pedestrians had vanished from the area, and everyone was, I assume, heading for shelter.
Still, I was so curious now, I watched for the lady like a hawk, not knowing WHAT I would do if I saw her. THEN what?
The kids would ask me questions, and I would say, “Not now, I need to pay attention because of the weather.” I kind of hoped not to see her, because I still wasn’t sure of what was the right thing to do. I didn’t want them to know that I was thinking of picking up the lady, they might hold me to it! What if I saw her and decided that it was poor judgement? How could I say, "nah! She's fine! Lets take care of ourselves. Someone else will help her. Ignore all those times that I've told you to stop putting yourselves first."
We rounded the bend and there she was. I had been watching for her to be walking quickly, even panicked and jogging a little down the sidewalk. I can’t tell you how surprised I was at what I saw, it was so surreal.
She was just sitting there on a park bench. What in the world!? I would have expected her to speed up, keep hiking. Who would just sit at a time like this!?! I would be about to cry. Was someone on their way to get her any minute now?
I did a U-turn and pulled up beside her, rolling down the window, about to say, “HEY!! We know you!! You are always so nice to us at the store. Can we please give you a ride?” As I opened my mouth, I saw it was a stranger.
Oh. Now what? I was scrambling, wondering what to say now…maybe I shouldn’t let her in our van?
“Are you OK?” I asked her. Now I could see her better. She was sitting on the bench, sort of slumped back; not unlady-like, but kind of sprawled out across half of the bench, looking more exhausted than making herself at home. There was the book she had been cradling resting on the other half of the bench. “Yes…," she giggled and seemed to think for a minute…”yes.”
Oh my goodness, should I take her? I don’t know her!
“Really? You are ok!?!” I asked, unconvinced by her answer, and unconvinced of how to move forward. “I’m worried about you being out here like this, can we give you a ride somewhere?”
She said, “I was just trying to make it to the library.” GASP! She’s not even close, at least for someone walking!!
I told her to “Get in, we’ll take you!” and she gathered what I now saw was a large leather Bible, hugged it to her chest, and approached the car. I couldn’t help but wonder if this African-American lady was thinking, “LORD, what am I getting into?!? This white lady is picking me up, this van is filthy! I don’t want to be rude, but I may hold my breath the whole way…three kids, a mom that doesn’t appear to have had a shower today, (she’d be correct), and what looks like a layer of dog fur ALL over the carpet? Crumbs, backpacks…” I was so embarrassed. Although I had been wishing for a chance to get the van cleaned after taking Elvis to the groomer, it never occurred to me that my van needed to be ready to greet a stranger, to put them at ease, to drive onto the mission field right in our own neighborhood.
I introduced my brood, and she said something about Joy’s name…something about how she could see that Joy really spread Joy everywhere she went with that sweet face. As usual, I said, “Yep, her name fits her perfectly because God named her.”
I found out that her name was Donna. She said something like, “Well, I guess it’s because I’ve not done my walk lately, but I just couldn’t go any further.” I got the impression that walking was part of her routine, but that recently she had been ill or something. I told her it was perfect, that I was glad we came along so she wouldn’t have to walk. She replied very calmly, “You were my angel today.”
I asked, “I see your bible, do you go to church around here?”
“Well, until I came here a few weeks ago, I was at The Potter’s House.”
“Oh, I’ve heard good things about that church! We go to Christ Fellowship. It’s right around the corner…on Eldorado and Orchid? It looks like a big church, but really, I’m always impressed that somehow it feels smaller. You walk in and know everyone, everyone is so nice and down to earth, and it really feels like family. You should come check it out sometime.”
She answered, “Well, they must be nice, because here you are giving me a ride.”
We pulled up to the library and said our goodbyes. I thanked her for letting us drive her. She got out and headed for the door. Josie smiled at me and said, “Mom, that was really cool. Thanks for doing that.” I instantly beamed and panicked all at once, thinking, “OH NO, I’ve just taught her that it’s wonderful to pick up strangers…we’ll have to talk about this!!” So I began lecture 6, 571,
“Well, Josie, I’m glad we did that, but actually, I don’t know if that was really a good idea, because…”
We watched as Miss Donna stepped under the overhang. In that instant, before she even made it the two steps through the door, the bottom fell out of the sky. It was sprinkling one minute, and then pouring down rain, lightning and thunder the next. We all looked at each other big eyed, and erupted with screams of surprise and excitement. It was unbelievable, one minute later and she would’ve been caught in the storm! Was that a coincidence? It sure didn’t seem like it.
We drove away and I was ecstatic. Funny, my goal was to make it home before this so that the kids didn’t have to unload in the storm. Now, I really didn’t care. Wow. Why was I so happy? I did one thing for one person, and I was so excited. Pathetic! Had it been so long since I reached out to help someone? I should be doing things for others all the time!
And then, I wondered…wait. Maybe I DO serve others all the time. I care for my family. I wouldn’t say I do a great job, but I try; all the laundry, dishes, hugs for hurts, snuggles, teacher emails, late night homework sessions, nursing them through every virus known to suburbia over the last months…It FEELS like it’s nothing, but I guess it’s something. I must remember that even the humdrum moments are service
I really wrestled with sharing this story. I know we are to do good for others, not when everyone is looking, or for credit…but I have been SO compelled to write about it ever since, that I have to wonder if He is nudging, wanting to use the story somehow, if someone needs to hear it.
I have thought about Miss Donna so many times! Why didn’t I get her number, offer her a ride to church on Sunday, offer to sit with her? Did she just have some health issue that caused her to move in with a relative nearby? Something that made it difficult for her to walk or breathe? Did her family know she was walking all the way to the library? Why the library? For free internet to email family? Did she have a ride home? (I asked her that and she said that she did.) I retraced the path out of curiosity; it was 1.6 miles from the point where we picked her up, and who knows how long she had been walking already.
Did she visit our church? Oh, I hope she did, and I hope someone noticed her and made her feel welcome. I hope she didn’t make it all the way there unnoticed. Did she get sick? Oh, I hope my van didn’t make her sick, one of the kids was sick the very next day.
I’ve often wondered why she was just sitting there when a storm was coming!? Was she just so defeated that she couldn’t go on? Or did she sit to pray, to ask Him for help. Did she have such strong faith that she knew that just by asking and trusting, that God would care for her? Maybe she knew to pray when she needs Him (Ask…, seek…, knock…! Matthew 7:7) I often find myself struggling with something difficult and then realize, “I forgot to pray about it!”
Thinking about it now, it reminds me about Jesus sleeping on the boat, while the disciples cried out in fear about the storm that was coming. They woke him and asked how could he sleep at a time like this. He rebuked them for not having faith and ordered the seas to “Be Still”. (Matthew 8) We forget that He’s got this. We can worry, we can race around, but guess what? All of my worries were pointless. My children were fine. I was being a “ye of little faith-er” trying to predict anything, manage everything, but controlling nothing.
Maybe I need to open my eyes more for opportunities to serve others. Usually, I learn more than they do. Most of all, I need to then have the faith that He will use me to do what is best in the storm.
Surviving Siblings
Jayson and Joy were playing out in the backyard. I had one of those moments when I realized that before you know it, it won't be an everyday occasion to look out the window and see Joy straddling the fence and laughing. Grabbed my phone/camera.
Soon, Jayson came in and told me "It's so dangerous out there! Don't go out there. If you do, Alex will talk to you with his creepy voice through the fence!" I thought that was funny enough. Called my "BFF" Pamela next door to tell her what they were up to.
That's when I found out that Alex wasn't even home. It was Abby PRETENDING to be Alex by changing her voice, hence the girls warning him not to get near the fence, or Alex would see him.
About that time, they came in again, and I overheard Joy say, "Now come on buddy, if you just put on a dress and a girl's hat, Alex can't see you anymore!" As you see, Joy is always very proud of her manipulation.
He came in a few minutes later and said, "I HATE THIS STUPID DRESS! I do NOT look cute!"
Soon, Jayson came in and told me "It's so dangerous out there! Don't go out there. If you do, Alex will talk to you with his creepy voice through the fence!" I thought that was funny enough. Called my "BFF" Pamela next door to tell her what they were up to.
That's when I found out that Alex wasn't even home. It was Abby PRETENDING to be Alex by changing her voice, hence the girls warning him not to get near the fence, or Alex would see him.
About that time, they came in again, and I overheard Joy say, "Now come on buddy, if you just put on a dress and a girl's hat, Alex can't see you anymore!" As you see, Joy is always very proud of her manipulation.
He came in a few minutes later and said, "I HATE THIS STUPID DRESS! I do NOT look cute!"
Jayson starts Pre-K!
Today was Jayson's first day of PreK!! Last week, he was able to meet his teachers. As you know, last year, he fussed almost every day about going to school. He always ended the day telling us how great it was, but continued to balk at going in the morning.
As we pulled up to the school, he informed me that he would go meet the teachers, but he wouldn't be staying all day anytime.
We went inside and found that he was in the 'big kid hallway' and met his sweet teachers. They asked him about superheroes, and gave him a bag of popcorn. He was sold. If only I knew to bribe him with popcorn last year. We left, and he's been telling everyone how excited he is to go to his 'new school'. He points out the popcorn and the Rescue heroes that he saw in the toy bins there.
When we were leaving, he got excited to see his playground. There is another playground in front of the church that we use most of the time, but for school, he uses this one.
So today, he was very excited. He woke to his new backpack.
He told me "he had always wanted a backpack with superheroes, with the justice league, with (1, 2, 3, 4, ) FOUR superheroes." Off we go!
As we pulled up to the school, he informed me that he would go meet the teachers, but he wouldn't be staying all day anytime.We went inside and found that he was in the 'big kid hallway' and met his sweet teachers. They asked him about superheroes, and gave him a bag of popcorn. He was sold. If only I knew to bribe him with popcorn last year. We left, and he's been telling everyone how excited he is to go to his 'new school'. He points out the popcorn and the Rescue heroes that he saw in the toy bins there.
When we were leaving, he got excited to see his playground. There is another playground in front of the church that we use most of the time, but for school, he uses this one.So today, he was very excited. He woke to his new backpack.
He told me "he had always wanted a backpack with superheroes, with the justice league, with (1, 2, 3, 4, ) FOUR superheroes." Off we go!
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| Ready to go!! |
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| "Mommy, take my picture going to PreK!" |
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| Showing Mr. David his new backpack... |
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| and explaining to him who Flash Gordon is. |
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| In the lobby! Proud and ready! |
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| Arriving to his room with Daddy |
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| Standing by his "cubbie" and nametag. He was ready, and we had no tears!!! He entered the doorway, called me, and gave me a hug and said the most heartfelt, "I love you." |
My sweet parents saved me from my vacation prep stress yesterday, took the kids to thier house. They are always generous with the kids, let them bring home all kinds of treasures from clothes and toys and boxes of food to lizards, jars of dirt...so granny lectured them that they wouldn't be taking ANYTHING home this time because we were trying to get organized and pack.
After awhile, Joy came in and said, "granny, I know you said we can't take anything home, but I really think my mom needs this." My mom wholeheartedly agreed and so Joy brought me, in a gift bag, a margarita (bottle of Bartles and James margarita wine cooler). She was very proud of herself and didn't understand why I didn't want it in lieu of coffee this morning!
Isn't that the 'sweetest' thing you ever heard?
When they told me I was having a boy, I was a little sad. I'd always wanted a boy, seriously, but there was that moment awhile later when I startled for a moment and thought, "Oh! No more snuggly little girls. Boys are too 'cool' for mom's affection." I quickly decided that there would be lots of sweet boy things that would make up for it, and was just ready to accept it.
I have learned through my own amazing blessing, and from watching all of the other 'boy families' we've met in the interim, that sometimes they are even more affectionate...they don't run so 'hot' or 'cold'. He melts my heart.
Tonight, I was excited to get a shower after a long hot day of swimming and chores, carpools and timeouts (that I wish I had taken!) I took a little extra time to do all of the pampering lotions, perfume, combed in some leave in conditioner, and picked some soft pjs. My boy came to me and said, "I want to snuggle." (a nightly ritual) Daddy offered, "I can snuggle you!" to which Jayson replied, "No, I want to snuggle mom." (also a nightly ritual...they get plenty of snuggling, trust me. Brad usually states it with a wink, just egging him on, daring him to not snuggle mommy just this once).
Jayson climbed up, straddled my lap, tucked his head into my neck and lay on my shoulder. Then he sat up and smiled and said, "You smell like...brownies and bubblegum!" and he rubbed his tummy. Considering those are 2 of the only things he deems fit to eat, I'd say that was pretty 'sweet'!
Fancy girl, fancy furniture!
Joy got new carpet last week, and new furniture arrived today! It's beautiful! As you can see, she is SO excited!
First, she stood in the corner and danced while she watched it being assembled.
Then she tried out being ON the bed...
...under the bed...
Then we went shopping for new sheets. We have a few comforters picked out, but no decision yet, so we went with beautiful white lace sheets. We also found the most gorgeous, comfy white embroidered pillow. We bought a comforter, it was on sale and was similar to a favorite, but it didn't look right at home. Here she is all curled up with her coordinating sleep mask on.
Remember, it's not done. Right now bland, but imagine adding chandeliers, touches of pink, various textures/prints of pillows, paintings, jeweled knobs...so we took off the gray comforter, packaged it back up, and used a quilt for the night.
Me:"Oh, yes, that's a perfect pose, joy, do that!"
Joy:"mom, I'm actually trying to go to sleep, are you done now?"
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
First, she stood in the corner and danced while she watched it being assembled.
Then she tried out being ON the bed...
...under the bed...
Then we went shopping for new sheets. We have a few comforters picked out, but no decision yet, so we went with beautiful white lace sheets. We also found the most gorgeous, comfy white embroidered pillow. We bought a comforter, it was on sale and was similar to a favorite, but it didn't look right at home. Here she is all curled up with her coordinating sleep mask on.
Remember, it's not done. Right now bland, but imagine adding chandeliers, touches of pink, various textures/prints of pillows, paintings, jeweled knobs...so we took off the gray comforter, packaged it back up, and used a quilt for the night.
Me:"Oh, yes, that's a perfect pose, joy, do that!"
Joy:"mom, I'm actually trying to go to sleep, are you done now?"
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
I wouldn't ask joy to guess your age
Joy asked, "What year did Daddy start his job at the police department?"
Me,"I guess that would've been about...'95?"
"95!?! Then Dad is like...a hundred years old!"
"Why yes, I guess he is!"
"He must have still been alive when the dinosaurs were walking around!...why does he tell everyone he's 40?"
"Well, honey, he is 40."
Unconvincingly, "I knew that, I was just kidding.
Me,"I guess that would've been about...'95?"
"95!?! Then Dad is like...a hundred years old!"
"Why yes, I guess he is!"
"He must have still been alive when the dinosaurs were walking around!...why does he tell everyone he's 40?"
"Well, honey, he is 40."
Unconvincingly, "I knew that, I was just kidding.
Animal lover! Animal Lover?
Joy was admiring her new boots, very cute with faux fur.
She announced,
"All of my boots have fur! Whatever animal this used to be, it sure was soft! I feel so sorry for that little animal, but I sure am thankful for it!"
...Not exactly PETA material?
She announced,
"All of my boots have fur! Whatever animal this used to be, it sure was soft! I feel so sorry for that little animal, but I sure am thankful for it!"
...Not exactly PETA material?
Jayson's spelling lessons
"I'm going to teach you two words that are spelled with Halloween; bleed and blood! That starts with 2 T's! Oh, and an S, L, and O. That spells Halloween."
"Brownie starts with Halloween, too." "Halloween starts with a Brownie."
"Brownie starts with Halloween, too." "Halloween starts with a Brownie."
God bless us every one!
Jayson has been going to Mother's day out, and they sing a blessing song before every meal. Since Joy went to the same school, we know that it goes like this...
(to the tune of feres jacques)
God our father (God our father...)
Bless this food (repeat)
We would like to thank you
For our many blessings
A-a-MEN (repeat)
(that's jayson and joy putting thier heads down at the end of Joy's lunch at school, he sits with her so nicely while I have lunch duty!)
Jayson loves to sing the blessing song, and we love to hear it. It goes like this when he sings it...
God now father (repeat)
Let this food (repeat)
Many many glasses (repeat)
AW-w-MAN! AW-w-MAN!
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(to the tune of feres jacques)
God our father (God our father...)
Bless this food (repeat)
We would like to thank you
For our many blessings
A-a-MEN (repeat)
(that's jayson and joy putting thier heads down at the end of Joy's lunch at school, he sits with her so nicely while I have lunch duty!)
Jayson loves to sing the blessing song, and we love to hear it. It goes like this when he sings it...
God now father (repeat)
Let this food (repeat)
Many many glasses (repeat)
AW-w-MAN! AW-w-MAN!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
I'll say it again and again!!
Brad and I got the opportunity to renew our vows last week!! What a hoot. Brad passed his phone to Josie to take pictures...and she started playing video games. Between vows, we were yelling at her under our breath to take a picture. It was great to show the kids that we'd do it all over again!
You may kiss your bride!!
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Definitely a creator, a visionary
Someone lately mentioned that Steve Jobs was the DaVinci of our time. I don't think that is an exaggeration.
I also remember a couple of months ago, Joy asked,
"Why is it called an iPod?".
Brad answered,
"I guess that's what Steve Jobs thought it should be called!".
Joy said,
"I CAN'T BELIEVE you just called God 'Steve Jobs'!
I also remember a couple of months ago, Joy asked,
"Why is it called an iPod?".
Brad answered,
"I guess that's what Steve Jobs thought it should be called!".
Joy said,
"I CAN'T BELIEVE you just called God 'Steve Jobs'!
Family day at the park
*Remember, you can click any picture and see it full screen.
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| Don't blame Josie, it was my silly idea. |
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| She got in as many scary positions as she could... and then called to me to take her picture! |
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| I thought this captured their personalities in a nutshell; Josie swinging, Joy climbing, Jayson refusing. ;-) |
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| That's Brad swinging Jayson and Josie |
What's in a name?
Joy, talking about her former Pre-K teacher, Susan Walden, who was helping in Jayson's class...
"Her name used to be Mrs. Walden. But now I guess she changed it to Mrs. Susan."
Regarding her teacher...
"Mrs. Crim and David are going out of town. David, or he's probably called "Mr. Crim". Mr. Crim is not a man, he's just a husband."
...and another reason to LOVE Mrs. Crim...
"Did you know that Mrs. Crim's first name is Ashley!!?! That is SO COOL! YOU know, Sharpay's real name is Ashley Tisdale. I just figured that out. That's so so cool."
It's the important things!
"Her name used to be Mrs. Walden. But now I guess she changed it to Mrs. Susan."
Regarding her teacher...
"Mrs. Crim and David are going out of town. David, or he's probably called "Mr. Crim". Mr. Crim is not a man, he's just a husband."
...and another reason to LOVE Mrs. Crim...
"Did you know that Mrs. Crim's first name is Ashley!!?! That is SO COOL! YOU know, Sharpay's real name is Ashley Tisdale. I just figured that out. That's so so cool."
It's the important things!
On my mind
Lately, this poem has been on my mind. I discovered it hanging in the classroom where I student taught. I copied it and hung it in my class every year.
With some friends going through their kids being bullied at school, and my own kids feeling more freedom to dress as themselves for school each day, this poem has been crossing my mind regularly!
Kids Who Are Different
copyright 1982 by Digby Wolfe,
All Rights Reserved
Here's to the kids who are different,
The kids who don't always get A's,
The kids who have ears twice the size of their peers,
And noses that go on for days...
Here's to the kids who are different,
The kids they call crazy or dumb,
The kids who don't fit, with the guts and the grit,
Who dance to a different drum...
Here's to the kids who are different,
The kids with the mischievous streak,
For when they have grown, as history's shown,
It's their difference that makes them unique!
With some friends going through their kids being bullied at school, and my own kids feeling more freedom to dress as themselves for school each day, this poem has been crossing my mind regularly!
Kids Who Are Different
copyright 1982 by Digby Wolfe,
All Rights Reserved
Here's to the kids who are different,
The kids who don't always get A's,
The kids who have ears twice the size of their peers,
And noses that go on for days...
Here's to the kids who are different,
The kids they call crazy or dumb,
The kids who don't fit, with the guts and the grit,
Who dance to a different drum...
Here's to the kids who are different,
The kids with the mischievous streak,
For when they have grown, as history's shown,
It's their difference that makes them unique!
I never get tired of this commercial!
As the mom of a boy who constantly talks superhero, makes countless explosion noises each day, and contsantly threatens to 'disappear you' (meaning he closes his eyes), this commercial makes me smile every time!!
Piggies: the remix!
Jayson has a very hard time allowing me to hold his hand in parking lots or while crossing streets. He often erupts in a magnificent tantrum, screaming all kinds of things at me, trying to peel my hand off of him.
"I can't! I can't hold your hand right now! It's too hard! I don't need to!", and my favorite that he pulled out of his three year old head was, "I can't right now, my hands are busy doing a project!!"
So here we are today, a few months later, and Jayson and Joy are riding side by side in the car. Jayson takes her hand and says,
"This little piggie went to the store.
This little piggie went to the market.
This little piggie had a project.
And this little piggie cried. Wah."
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2011 Mini Meet!!
This time, all 3 of our kiddos were able to participate in the mini meet! Josie has been taking Trampoline class, Joy was in girl's level 1 gymnastics, and Jayson was in the 3 year old class.
Joy has always been great on bars. She is about to do her back hip circle. Many more pics on the link.
I love her smile in this picture warming up for her floor routine.
Joy coming out of her bridge!
Girls warming up on beam!
Josie was such a trooper! She's only used to doing the trampoline but she did a couple of unprepared events to be able to participate, and did quite well!
Jayson really ran the teachers through their paces that day. It was scheduled right at his nap time, and it's pretty long. Lots of waiting. He did pretty well at his gymnastics if he was trying. ;-) However, he was pretty happy!
Waiting was hard for Jayson.
I have no idea what he was trying to do to that boy's foot, but waiting is hard. ;-)
He calls this 'Thunder face".
It takes a village, people, a village. Getting Jayson up to the podium.
I was not aware that there was a move called Dead Weight!
To see the other pictures, go to this link: click here for pictures of the meet